Good Moms Apparently Do Slap Bitches

15 Dec

So, well I feel like my grown-up card has been revoked. You work so hard to get in the door and then do something that questions your membership in the Card Carrying Grown-Up Club.

So, I hit someone the other day.
I know with this prompt, many people will be recapping on experiences that occurred about 20 some years ago. This, however, happened on Friday.
Now I don’t know how many of you read my first post about this particular drunk waste of skin.
Well, this woman is tolerable when she’s sober… barely. However she has been going through a rough time, and I deemed it proper to give her a bit of fellowship. Well, I was sincerely hoping that it would be on my time, during my schedule… but alas.
I seem to have no such luck in that category. First, it’s a little hard to get rid of her after spending a couple hours chatting about stuff that I could give two shits about.
“Um… the kids need to eat their dinner now.” or “It’s bedtime, we’re closing up shop to watch TV for a little while and then go to bed.” Both of those things might work if you were speaking to a normal person. Especially when paired with, “Alright, then, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
No, she would get an extremely dejected look on her face, like I just killed her cat. Then she would go home and get drunk. I’m talking, irrational, falling down, belligerantly drunk.
This takes her about 45 minutes.
Then, who would come knocking at my door, loudly… while my kids are sleeping?
First, I begin with, “We aren’t going to do this tonight, Tracy.” (names have NOT been changed, in order to implicate the guilty) and moved right along to, “It’s time for you to go home, Trace. I told you.. I’m done for the night.” and graduated straight to, “Get out from in front of my door, Tracy… I’m totally serious. You need to go home and go to freakin’ sleep.”
In which her response was, “Make me, you bitch!”
And I closed the door in her face.
So then she started banging on it with all her might… knowing my #1 concern was my sleeping kids.
I opened the door and started screaming in her stupid, drunk face. Or I would have, but she had moved to the stairs.
“Come out here and hang out!” she whined. As if I hadn’t just screamed at her to get away from my door.
I regulated my voice, “Tracy.” I said calmly through gritted teeth, “My kids are sleeping, and right now I want you to go home and get some sleep.” (“…and take care of your own kids for once.” was on the tip of my tongue, unsaid.)
“You’re a fucking bitch. I’m not moving.” she lied, as she pushed past me toward my open front door. “Hey!” she shouted, “Hey kids! Wake the fuck up!!”

Well, as I may have mentioned… I’m from the streets. I was homeless for 5 years, a punk-kid for longer than that, and no matter how hard I try… it rears it’s ugly head sometimes.

So, I grabbed her by the hair and pulled her back out of my house and pushed her in the general direction of her apartment.
“Go freakin’ home Tracy!”
“Make me, you bitch!”
and then she swung wildly at me.
Well, sorry folks, but that’s kinda my cue.
I grabbed her hair again and used it to pull her head down to knee level. I kicked her in the face with my lightweight running shoes, designed to make me look more like a suburban housewife. (I told you I’ve been trying!)
I stood her up and pushed her in the direction of her apartment.
I couldn’t help that she wanted more. She came back a second time and it was on.
I beat her badly. Had I been wearing boots, I’d be in jail right now, not detailing this adventure to you kind folks.

Hey, hey, wait… I’m not done. And apparently, neither was she.
About 15 minutes later, she came back, dragging her poor little 8 year old by the arm. He looked bewildered and sleepy, as if she had pulled him out of bed for this purpose.
“You gonna beat my ass now? Huh? huh?”
“Take those kids back home, Tracy.” I said in an even voice. Her 13 year old, who sincerely wishes I was his mom instead of her, was also in tow.
“You need to go home and get some sleep.” My voice was calm, but I could see what was coming, and was ready for it now.
My husband could too, and once she relaxed her vice-grip on the little boy’s arm to stick her finger in my face, my hubby quietly walked the boys a little ways away. He spoke to them in a low voice with his body placed strategically in between them and what was going on at my door.
That’s when she flew at me like the Wicked Witch of the West with her hands like claws. This is the only time she got me with any of her wild strikes. Her nails scraped down my arm. I didn’t feel it at the time, but tell you what… it burned like the dickens later. I totally cleaned it like crazy afterwards, and the long scrape still ended up festering a bit.
Well, I’ll spare you the gory details.
I really, really will… but I stomped her down. I beat her like a redheaded step-child who stole something.

Granted, she tore my shirt right off my body… completely stripped me. I thank God I was wearing a bra.
Regrettably, this happened in front of her kids. My husband standing between them and the “action” wasn’t enough to stop them from seeing what was going on. (Including my shirt coming off… yay.)
I regret this on so many different levels. Not least of these regrets is having to do this in front of her kids. Even though she brought them over, and attacked me first… it doesn’t absolve me of guilt or responsibility for my actions. Her motivations for bringing the kids was obvious. She thought she could use the kids, so she could do what she wished without repercussions. Unfortunately for her, she was wrong. Unfortunately for her kids, they had to witness it.
Another regret is a big one for me too. I’m supposed to be an adult now! What adult makes her point with her fists? I’ve tried so hard to step away from my persona as a street person. I don’t want to be seen as that anymore. That isn’t what I am.
I’ve worked so freakin’ hard to erase that part of me and insert “Commendable Working-Class Heroine, Who’s Come So Far in Becoming Absolutely Socially Acceptable.”

And then here I go, and screw that all off.
I mean, thinking about it… even if you understand where I’m coming from on this, you seriously want our kids having a playdate now? Or do you really want to go have a cup of coffee with me?
I cannot believe that there is any way to socially redeem myself from this.
But here I go, putting it out there where all you folks can see.
Because this is my blog. An online diary of sorts. If I can’t tell the bald truth here, where can I? I’m not going to hide myself behind the vision of what I would like to be.
Unfollow if you must, because I’m never going to lie or sugar coat the truth in order for you guys to like me. If I ever get this Truly-Changed thing down, it’s because that’s really what I want to do, not because it will make you, or my mother, or people at my church, or even Jesus like me better.
I’m trying to change so I will like me better.
But obviously I’m doing a piss-poor job of it.

end note: Just so everyone knows, my husband then walked her and the kids back to her apartment. Made sure every thing was alright as it could be. He talked to the kids and made sure that they weren’t overly traumatized. Unfortunately, their mother has been doing this for years and they are used to it.
We both love these kids, they are great kids and remarkably undamaged and normal.
On the way back up to the apartment, the 13 year old was chuckling to himself. It elicited a “What the fuck are you laughing at?” from Mother of the Year. *sarcasm*
To which his response was, “Learn how to fight, mom.”
As to why I didn’t just call the police? I can’t explain it, it’s just not something I do. There was something that needed to be handled, and I handled it.

23 Responses to “Good Moms Apparently Do Slap Bitches”

  1. Melissa December 15, 2010 at 10:47 pm #

    Believe it or not, and having known you for 12 years (OMG has it really been that long) I think I am qualified to say, you are not doing a piss-poor job of it. I have seen you grow and change so much over the last decade and change. I have seen you really make stride toward becoming the person you want to be. Just because some piece of trash finally pushed your buttons to the point where you felt the need to kick her ass doesn’t automatically get your grown-up card revoked. I think it also shows how far you have come that you feel bad about having to do it. Think about it, in the past would you have felt even a little bad about it. In the past would you have tried first to deal with the situation with words? IMHO your still a card carrying grown-up. and just so you know I still love you <3

    • SJ December 16, 2010 at 9:38 am #

      Dropped by from Mama Kat’s and glad I did. So what? you reckon you should of stood there and just let her do what she did. Sounds like you’re beating yourself up on this way more than you should.

      People like her don’t learn they just take take take until they break you. It is difficult when there’s a fine line to be crossed but this is your family and when someone affects your life in such a bad way that it has the potential to harm your family, it’s time to say bye!

      As much as you want to extend the hand of friendship to some people, they don’t deserve it and she sure as hell doesn’t. (but I get it, it’s also about the kids)

    • justmom420zaks December 16, 2010 at 9:17 pm #

      Thank you, Missy.. I totally needed that.
      And shit. It HAS been 12 years.

  2. cristina December 16, 2010 at 11:26 am #

    I’m visiting from Mama’s Kat and am now a follower, despite the butt kicking ;)
    Of course you probably should have called the cops, but this woman also NEEDS a good ass kicking… so sad for those kids. I know you said the kids seem to be doing well, but somehow I don’t believe that, maybe they put on that facade to protect themselves :(
    anyways, I appreciate how honest you are

    • justmom420zaks December 16, 2010 at 9:22 pm #

      Yeah, I worry about those kids. I make them cookies and good tidbits of food because I know all they eat is TV dinners and fishsticks. My husband helps fix their bikes. They are well spoken and polite and we help them out as much as possible without bringing the hell of Mother of the Year (sarcasm) down on us or them.
      I don’t call CPS or police, that’s ghetto-no-no. I’ve known enough kids raised in foster care to know that= out of the frying pan and into the fire.
      Thanks for the follow. I assure you, I’m edgy.. but this will probably be the scariest post you see from me. ;)~

  3. Dumb Mom December 16, 2010 at 12:05 pm #

    Holy effing shit in Paris! Street cred officially earned. And don’t feel bad. She asked for it; literally begged for it and, while I can’t say I’ve got street fighting in my history, my mama wooped a couple of asses so I know it sometimes just must be done. And, no one says you can’t put your awesome mom hat back on in the morning. Your kids don’t know you stomped a drunk lady in the street and they don’t have to. Or, you can tell them all about it and let them bask in your I-bake-cookies-and-stomp-people-out glory. Either way, you only did it because you had to so don’t sweat it. Plus you write good. Bet drunk psycho can’t say that!

    • justmom420zaks December 16, 2010 at 9:25 pm #

      Just so you know, I adore your blog. I need to switch you from my Google Reader, now that I no longer have a Blogspot page.
      “Holy effing-shit in Paris” I’m totally stealing that.. it might take the place of “Christ on a pony” in my vocab. I think The Big Guy might appreciate it.
      I utterly bask in your approval of my questionable actions.

  4. Carrie December 16, 2010 at 2:00 pm #

    It might not have been the most adult thing to do but she came at you. You had no choice but to defend yourself and it turns out you are the better scrapper.

    I hope she learns from this…but probably won’t since all memory might be wiped clean by the alcohol.

    Visiting from Mama Kat’s

    • justmom420zaks December 16, 2010 at 9:27 pm #

      It’s not wiped totally clean. I saw her at the store and she glared daggers at me. This time I was an adult and ignored her.
      But in a totally snobbish- your-kids-like-me-better-than-you kinda way.
      So maybe not TOTALLY adult.

  5. Mama Zen December 16, 2010 at 2:36 pm #

    When a person just begs for an ass whipping, sometimes it is your moral and social duty to administer it.

    • justmom420zaks December 16, 2010 at 9:29 pm #

      Thank you. Other than regretting her kids had to witness, I totally agree.
      My mother wouldn’t have done it.
      My husband keeps reminding me I’ll never be my mother.
      I’m not sure how to take that.
      But thank you.

  6. taratoo88 December 16, 2010 at 3:48 pm #

    Stopping by from Mama Kat.
    Wow what a night, that’s unfortunate, but it sounds like you did exactly what you needed to do. Hopefully those kids will turn out just fine!

    • justmom420zaks December 16, 2010 at 9:32 pm #

      I sure hope so.
      The 13 year old seems like he might. He’s a stronger person for all that he’s been through.
      The little one is so timid. I worry about him the most. I try to give him the most cookies and shoulder pats.
      The oldest one just stays away from the house as much as possible.
      Good kids though. Regular. Not trouble makers or surly and sullen. I like them a lot.

  7. Mothers' Hideaway December 16, 2010 at 3:49 pm #

    Damn woman! You’re a tough ass bitch! I’d come over for a play date, but just don’t beat me up ;)

    • justmom420zaks December 16, 2010 at 9:34 pm #

      Haha! Just don’t shout drunkenly down my hallway while my kids are sleeping, and we wont have any problems!
      And after 8pm we shut down.
      Really? Are these hard rules to follow?
      I’m just glad I’m not out of the Mommy Club!

  8. Mrs. Jen B December 16, 2010 at 8:56 pm #

    She had it coming. It’s unfortunate that it had to happen the way it did, with the poor kids being there…but she brought it on herself. It’s a shame because I’m sure she didn’t just magically become the way she is…but you tried many times to give her a message which she chose to ignore and then come at you, claws out and ready. You did what you had to do.

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. I don’t know you or anything, but I’m sure you don’t deserve it.

    • justmom420zaks December 16, 2010 at 9:39 pm #

      Thank you. That makes me feel loads better.
      You’re right about her, though. Her husband is in jail, and I’m sure she wasn’t raised properly, being how she has no decorum of respect whatsoever.
      I almost think that’s no excuse. I’ve met plenty of people who come from absolute shit childhoods and are decent people. Even awesomer than average because of what they’ve endured and moved past.
      The other half of me doesn’t care if it IS a valid excuse. Maybe I would have cared 15 years ago when I was full of idealistic views and hope. I’ve become so jaded.
      Thank you for this comment.

  9. Bruna December 16, 2010 at 9:31 pm #

    I feel so sorry for that woman’s kids. You did what you had to do and don’t worry about that.

    Stopping by from Mama Kat’s!

    • justmom420zaks December 16, 2010 at 9:42 pm #

      Thank you.
      And yes, those poor kids. Especially the younger one. I do what I can, at the same time not knowing what to do.
      I guess all we can do is hope that they grow up and become stronger people.
      At least she doesn’t beat them (as far as I know) If I found out that she did, I’d walk up stairs and give her a second dose.
      They totally deserve better. I’ve told them that before.

  10. The Drama Mama December 16, 2010 at 9:54 pm #

    I like feisty people!! Nice to meet you. You know, we are what we are, we were given the life we were for a reason (even the sucky parts), and the less like our own moms we can be, IMO, the better. ;)

  11. Carri December 17, 2010 at 1:33 am #

    Are you effing SERIOUS?! That chick needed your knee in her face. Good for you! I’m sorry those kids have to see that but I’m sure it’s not the first time. Stopping by from Mama Kat’s… Glad I did. I’d love to slap a bitch, too, and you’re my inspiration! ;)

    • justmom420zaks December 17, 2010 at 9:24 pm #

      If you go out and commit an assault. I’m SO not responsible.
      Do I need to put a disclaimer?
      “Don’t follow me, I don’t know where I’m going.”
      Haha, that should be my new tagline.
      I love the enthusiastic and slightly violent support..lol
      Hey everyone, Carri is on MY team next time things get crazy.

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